There's no place like home (except work)

About twice a year, sometimes three to four, I get what any mom needs and wants...alone time. Josh is in Chicago for three days. What's a girl to do? I cried almost all morning.

Wouldn't it be super romantic if I confessed how I can't stand one more second away from him, so much so, that it brought oozing, wet tears when I was driving to work? It would be...but then I'd be a liar.

Here's the scoop. Yes, I cried all morning but it was because of events that happened because Josh was out of town...not really because he's outta town. Get it?

As a full-time working mom, I have to be in the office at 8:00am everyday. Josh always takes Julie to daycare. I hate to admit this, but on most days, I don't even get a chance to see JBop until after work, when I get the amazing role of being hero mom when I pick her up from daycare.

So since, he is out of town, a wrench was thrown in our schedule this morning and Julie was rushed from our home when she should have been sleeping and hence, the devastation occurred.

Now before I had a lovely talk with the owner of Julie's daycare this evening, I planned to YELP from a mountain top the horrible thing that happened when I dropped Julie off this morning. Was it really that bad?...well kinda. Did I over-exaggerate?....yes. Do I need or want to talk about it?...not anymore.

Here's the bottom line. I choose to work, so I don't get to parent my child 24 hours a day.

It took me all day to psycho analyze the situation for myself. You see, I've decided it kinda bothers me.

And that's what had me in tears all morning.

Now I will make a disclaimer that the last two weeks in our home have been a cracked-out version of the Wizard of OZ in which we all played multiple characters. I have been the Wicked Witch of the ATL, while Josh has played an array of the Scarecrow, man without brains (when he bought the wrong size diapers) and Tin man, without a heart (when he didn't offer to buy us the best Super Bowl seats in the world).
This whole mess is because 4 times a year, Aunt Em's sister Flo, decides to visit our home and all hell breaks lose because she's totally unexpected (that's why we have Julie). Then I become the affectionate-seeking Toto for a week, who apologizes for everything that damn witch said. Ahhh the woes of hormone disorders. And Josh I really do miss you, BTW.

Well anyway, so I was crying because I'm selfish and I choose to work, when I really can stay home if I wanted to. It would be tight, but we could definitely make it work financially. And Julie has to suffer because of this. Or does she?

I spent a lot of time tonight reading and analyzing this article from the Washington Post. It's about a working mom who like me, feels like she never has time for anything. That she doesn't do anything quite great and feels guilty if she doesn't spend enough time with her children. At least we're all not the only ones, right?

It also, highlights three sociologists opinions about moms and time. When do we find leisure time? What is that?

My sister Gina has had the luxury to know both sides. She's been a SAHM, has worked full-time and also is about to quit her job again to stay home (and move to Hawaii, but that's a whole other story). So, after reading the words of Brigid Schulte, I asked her on Facebook tonight... Is it easier being a working mom or stay-at-home-mom? Her answer...Both. Now that's a real expert opinion if you ask me.

The article's a great read if you have time. It's way too long, I don't know how a real mom actually wrote it. But it made me feel better and I'm not crying anymore. Nor am I pulling Julie from daycare, the place she loves and spends more time awake than at home. Because I really do love working, and although it's hard, I couldn't imagine not doing it. It's the best way I can parent my daughter and that's how I make it my real 24 hour job.